- Assess their safety needs. Is their home life safe? Their daily commute? Their work environment?
- Validate the person's feelings and concerns. It is a helpful part of the recovery process to feel that one's reactions are normal
- Assure the person you care and that you can be trusted
- Always be calm in your reactions, such as voice and facial expressions
- Communicate with the person in a non-judgmental way
- Actively listen to them and show empathy
- Tune in and listen to feelings. Let them know they are heard by reflecting back to them what they said and how they feel
- Address any myths they might believe, and provide them with facts and statistics about violence
- Educate them about what their options are, without giving them advice on what you think they should do. Instead, connect them to resources that you might have knowledge of
- Be honest about how much you can do. Do not make any promises you can't keep
- Keep the focus of the conversation on them. It is not about us, so the focus should stay on them
- Allow for silence. Silence lets the client identify thoughts and convey them accurately. They may feel most comfortable just knowing someone is there to help them get through this difficult time
Avoid:
- Passing any judgment concerning their actions, decisions, reactions, or coping mechanisms
- Asking questions that start with, "Why...?", which may imply blame, even if it is unintentional
- Encouraging them to modify their behavior, with the idea that they can avoid another traumatic occurrence in the future
- Discussing your personal problems as a way of relating to the person. Although this may feel like you are being empathetic toward them, this may instead unintentionally minimize or "one-up" the person's experience
- Trying to make the person feel better by telling them, "Everything is okay," or, "Well, at least...". Do not try to sugarcoat their experience. Although you may be trying to help by making a crummy situation more positive, this may leave the person only feeling invalidated and misunderstood
- Showing a very emotional reaction to their crisis or grief. This may make the person feel as though they have to support you, when they are the ones who are of need of your support in that moment